


Faith

by zakhad



Series: Virtue and Principle [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25479322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zakhad/pseuds/zakhad
Summary: Tom isn't sure what he wants, but it wasn't another madcap adventure with his newborn daughter in tow...
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres
Series: Virtue and Principle [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701805
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	Faith

_This is the book I never read_  
_These are the words I never said_  
_This is the path I’ll never tread_  
_These are the dreams I’ll dream instead_  
_This is the joy that’s seldom spread_  
_These are the tears…_  
_The tears we shed_  
_This is the fear_  
_This is the dread_  
_These are the contents of my head_  
_And these are the years that we have spent_  
_And this is what they represent_  
_And this is how I feel_  
_Do you know how I feel?_  
_‘Cause I don’t think you know how I feel...._

"Why", Annie Lennox

* * *

When Janeway came on the bridge, all the air left my lungs.

Chakotay, of course, was grinning ear to ear. He'd been the least enthusiastic member of our merry band of ship thieves -- I knew he didn't want to leave her behind, that they were couple now. They'd kept it low key, but we've been on _Voyager_ for nearly seven years, it's not like we don't know them better than they probably want us to, we could all tell it finally happened.

But as close as I was sure they were, I didn't even imagine in my wildest dreams that Captain Kathryn Janeway would put on civilian threads and join the revolution.

She swaggered down to the middle of the bridge, and then Harry, Tuvok and Seven came out of the 'lift. So it wasn't just the captain. I glanced at the helm, at Chakotay, and smiled up at her. "Welcome back, Captain."

An odd expression wiped the smile away, then a forced version of the smile came back. "Tom...."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to put up with it," Chakotay said. "You're not going to retrain all of us so easily."

But his tone was the giveaway that it was easier to give up than he implied -- he was turning up the affection and the teasing, no question that this off-book exercise had been a game-changer. Remove the uniform. Remove Starfleet. Now all we had left was Chakotay. And she turned to him with a glowing smile that said, yes, actually, this was no longer the captain -- this was Kathryn Janeway, who as an officer kept a certain amount of formality always, even when she touched an arm or shoulder, or warmly reassured. But she wasn't formal any more.

This was Kathryn, and Chakotay, in love.

"Everyone aboard?" Chakotay asked.

"Tabor came back, so yes," Jor said from Harry's old spot at ops. Harry came down to me, grinning ear to ear.

"How's the baby? Everything okay?" he said softly.

"Yeah," I replied, less amused. We looked down at the basket at my feet. I'd brought Miral to the bridge, since B'Elanna tended to be caught up in what she was doing and often had to leave Engineering to handle other things. Especially when we had a skeleton crew. It was a good thing she was less than a week old, and sleeping a lot.

I really think we could have thought this through more than we did.

What am I saying, 'we'? I was included because I married one of _them_. Because my wife couldn't leave me behind with our child.

Oh, sure. For years we were all one crew. But if there's one thing anyone like me can tell you -- anyone who's gone through major changes, traumatic ones that shift your perspective -- big events can mess with you. Coming back from the Delta Quadrant was a big damn event. And sure, I didn't really _know_ what would happen any more than anyone else. But this would not have been a guess. Former Maquis stealing _Voyager_ and taking off with it to rescue a bunch of other former Maquis because Starfleet had decided not to rescue them was nowhere on my list. Even though B'Elanna had told me about the prisoners after Chakotay told her, several weeks ago, I never imagined I'd be back at the helm, with my infant daughter, watching Janeway walk around looking quite at home in tight green pants and a comfortable-looking sweater on the bridge of _Voyager_. I figured I would be off to see my mom, to show her the new granddaughter while we figured out if we wanted to set up housekeeping on Earth for a while or go on vacation with Miral once the debriefing was over.

I hate to be one of those guys, but I _knew_ "coming home" would mess up my life. I wasn't going to tell B'Elanna 'I told you so' but I really did.

The captain came over to lean down and go all warm and soft at my daughter. Which, sure, who wouldn't? Hands on her knees, she smiled down at Miral. "I'd ask to hold her but I don't want to wake her up."

"She's more likely to wake up if I'm trying to sleep," I joked.

She turned her head to smile at me. "Do you need babysitters?"

"If you're volunteering I'll add you to the roster. Everyone's a babysitter. Miral has more friends than I do," I said.

Janeway chuckled, patted my shoulder as she had so many times before, and went back to her chair, where Chakotay stood waiting for her. Harry went to his old station, slow and glancing at Chakotay and Janeway -- uncertain of his place in the 'new order' as I was. It wasn't like we were Starfleet for this one.

I think that's the hardest part. We were Starfleet, we said that for seven years. Starfleet officers on a Starfleet ship. But now that we're off on this little escapade to the Gamma Quadrant? I think we were wrong. We wore the label and then the minute we were faced with debriefings and real Starfleet admirals, we escaped to another mission we took upon ourselves. Just like all the 'missions' we had in the Delta Quadrant. I think the closer we got to the reality of being home, the less those of us who weren't actually Starfleet wanted to be home, and it made it easy for them to justify going right back to vigilante justice.

I know Starfleet has to be getting ready for us to show up at the Bajoran wormhole, and Chakotay is slow to make the move for that reason. Maybe waiting for them to get complacent or think we're not coming after all, while we're arming the poor old vessel that didn't even have time to resupply. I know that in spite of the state of _Voyager_ we got through everything the Delta Quadrant threw at us.

"So where are we heading next?" Janeway said, as she sat down next to Chakotay.

"We have a lead on some deuterium, which I figured would be good to have," he replied. "It'll give our team time to get the cloaking device installed and working."

"Good. Where to, then?"

"The Docala system."

I spun my chair and plotted the course. "Do we want to get there fast, or safe? Fast goes a little too close to some of the Starfleet starbases."

"Safe is fine," Janeway said.

"ETA will be seven days at warp six."

"Let's go," Janeway said.

I glanced back over my shoulder and caught the look between her and Chakotay. Yep -- we're not Starfleet any more. I put in the speed, and we were off.

Starfleet isn't going to know what hit 'em.


End file.
